Should You Join All Your Money With Your Partner?
Investing for 1 - do we really need to join our money with our significant others?
Investing for One :
A PERSPECTIVE
Why I don’t join all my money with my husband …
Whether we’re single or partnered, I’m a strong believer in having your own money and investment plan outside of any significant other …
And here’s why.
When I was 23, I owned 3 houses. All on my own.
When I was 21, I met a man who would later become my fiancé.
We started a business. Built our dream home and played mum and dad to two pugs for 15 and 18 years.
Yep, that’s how long the dogs lived.
When we first met and got together, my net worth was significantly higher than my partner’s but to the 23 year old me who was newly engaged, it made sense to join our finances.
Fast forward 8 years and I was regretting every part of that decision.
Now I’m not saying it’s completely wrong to merge your money with your partner but for me, I learned some hard lessons from making that move.
I realise that for some women it can all work out, but let me warn you, if your worth is significantly higher than your partner’s, (particularly when you first get together) take a little caution before you go creating joint bank accounts.
Here’s what I would have done if I could rewind the clock.
(aka what I’m doing now in my new relationship.)
Keep my money separate in my own name, but have one joint account that you each contribute to for joint expenses, such as household running costs, groceries, mortgage payments, holidays etc.
I have my own personal savings account where my salary and any bonuses are paid. I contribute my share of the mortgage payments and household expenses from this account to take care of my side of the partnership (now marriage), but ultimately, I control where the money goes and how it is spent.
Have joint assets but also have personal assets of your own.
My deepest regret when I separated from my ex-fiance was that I had sold all of the properties I had personally owned, and moved all of the money into joint assets.
At the time of our split, all of our assets were held in joint names, which meant there needed to be joint decisions on how these assets were to be divided.
As you can imagine, this was an emotionally painful and drawn-out process.
I always said to myself, “if only I had kept just one of my houses”.
Today, Ben and I own our properties jointly 50/50 under an ownership known as “tenants in common” and we each contribute equal repayments from our own separate accounts.
We have our personal accounts linked to the loan accounts as offset accounts so the interest is offset.
Put simply, even though our bank accounts are in individual names, our financial institution allows us to have these accounts set up to offset the interest on our joint mortgages. I love this because it means we can separate our money but still have it working for us to offset our loans.
I have my own investment share portfolio that is managed by my financial planner, Cara. This is where I contribute excess cash if I have a profitable quarter in the business. It also acts as a buffer for my business when the market is slower or if I decide to take an extended break from real estate.
Again, I have 100% control over the investment.
Does marriage have to equal joint money?
Not necessarily.
As one of my best friends puts it, “we all have to have our runaway money if we ever need it.”
Women have grown up to believe that once we are married or partnered, we should join everything, including our finances.
I went along with this and it screwed me big time!
As career focussed, driven women, we are likely to be the ones in the partnership who are out-earning our partners and I believe it is crucial to protect the money we have worked so hard to make.
It doesn’t mean you have to hide it from your partner.
But it does mean we need to be savvy.
Setting up separate accounts doesn’t mean we’re running a completely independent race to our significant other.
It gives us the flexibility to make our own decisions when it comes to our personal finances, and rather than have everything in the pot together, we can have two independent entities moving forward together as a team.
Ben and I are both competitive by nature, so for us, we like to make a competition of it.
It’s called, see who can out-earn the other in a year.
It might sound out of the box, but this actually spurs us both on to do well in our respective businesses.
The outcome is a win/win all round, but at the same time, we each maintain control of our side of the financial fence.
If we decide to invest jointly, we do so.
If it’s a separate investment for one of us, then this is okay too.
Either way, we’re both building our wealth side by side and collectively, we both win.
Find out what works for you, but at the end of the day, I’d never go back to joining everything together.
It’s too messy. I feel out of control. And energetically, it pushes me even harder when it comes to my career if I know the money is under my own watchful eye.
What’s best, there’s a certain feeling of accomplishment and self-pride when you are responsible for the management of your own money and investments.
Instinctively, I never felt right about merging all my money but hey, we live and we learn right?
It might not be for everyone, but it works perfectly for me.
MEET THE WRITER
Hi. I’m Wendy.
I’m a storytelling writer, champagne lover and Luxury Buyer’s Agent based in Brisbane Australia. I share my journey as an independent real estate professional and self-made career woman.
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Wendy Russell is a Luxury Buyer’s Agent, social introvert and self-made career woman on a mission to help you build your empire. It starts here.
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