How I Manage My Energy As An Introverted Real Estate Agent
Enochlophobia: having a fear of crowds.
A person with this phobia experiences high levels of anxiety when they’re in a crowd or just thinking about being in a crowd. Does this sound like you?
Ever since my mother took me to my first concert as a 13 year old, I have had this thing about crowds.
I hate them. Fear them even.
And today, when I’m faced with the thought of having to wade my way through a sea of people, I start to get anxious. Few people know this about me.
In fact, most people assume I’m an extrovert and love being around people. How wrong they are!
When I reveal to them I’m an introvert I usually get an awkward look followed by an … “umm really?! This response is generally rooted in disbelief because in a weird and wonderful twist, not only do I have a fear of crowds, but I can be quite social.
Honestly, I’m out a lot.
Or so my instagram profile will suggest, but in truth, I gain my energy from NOT being around lots of people and noisy places.
Yes, I love to socialise with close friends and do all the things, but for me, it’s a double edged sword in most respects.
Around 3 weeks ago I was invited to a networking event with a friend. It was a charity fundraiser dinner and the venue, although very luxurious, was quite small and so the 50-odd people who attended were congregated into what I felt was a pretty tight space, and that space soon became very loud.
I had to excuse myself from my seat at least three times during the evening to take myself away from the noise and just sit in silence. I literally went to the bathroom and sat in the cubicle for 5 minutes to decompress.
Fellow introverts, you know exactly what I mean!
Can Introverts Really Thrive In Real Estate?
If you’re anything like me, how is it that we can thrive in an industry like real estate where you’re constantly meeting with people, talking on the phone, negotiating and networking. This kind of stuff goes against the grain of introversion and I feel as though the extroverts in the game have a much easier time, but this post isn’t for them.
It’s for you my friend - the introvert amongst the sea of extroverts in an industry that prides itself on shameless self-promotion and all the things that typically attract the extroverted folk.
As an introvert, your greatest challenge is not just in your ability to win business and close deals, but to manage your energy.
Real estate land is built for those who gain energy through social interactions with fellow humans, which typically forms the backbone of real estate life, but what about the rest of us who seek solitude and value spending more time in our inner world?
How do we recharge our batteries when we’re constantly being put in situations that require face to face interactions, intense phone calls to clients and sometimes, crowds of people stepping around you at an open home or auction?
Here is my solution.
The first step is being mindful that if you genuinely prefer spending time with your inner thoughts and seem to gain energy from alone time rather than being with groups of people, you are likely an introvert.
Yes, you may be social like me and enjoy hanging out with your friends, but ultimately, if large groups and loud presences overwhelm you, then you’re probably an introvert.
Next up, we need to recognise what it is in our day to day that drains our energy.
It’s probably easy for you to list off a few things straight off the bat, but a great way to do this is to spend a week keeping a loose journal of how each day has panned out for you energy wise.
For example, Monday might be - you started the day off fresh at 6am, and had a few zoom meetings prior to lunchtime. These seemed to go well because you felt energised and alert, but by 3pm after you had made some pretty intense calls to a few of your clients, you were starting to hit a wall.
By 5pm, you were ready to switch the phone off but you still had an open home to attend. This felt like pulling teeth (literally) because you had to be “on” with Buyers and afterwards you had to update your owner which was another 20 minute call, all whilst driving through peak hour traffic on your way home. Now it’s 6.30pm and you’re about to open your Uber Eats app because cooking is out of the question for you tonight!
So, what were your energy drainers? I’m going to say - the meetings, the calls you described as being “intense” and the late afternoon open home.
As you work through this exercise, you might start to see some patterns emerge, such as that 3pm slump.
I find that for me, I have most of my focused energy in the mornings and then as the day progresses, the cup starts to drain. That’s why I like to schedule meetings in the mornings.
Now, this is typical for introverts because as the hours tick by and we have more and more interactions with people, we start to deplete.
But once you have identified your energy drainers and worked out when your cup is at it’s fullest, you can begin to plan your days and weeks strategically with these in mind.
As an example, if you know you’re gearing up for a big week of client meetings, try to schedule these for the morning when your energy is at its highest.
Big networking event that week?
If it’s not crucial to attend, I would be skipping it. Instead, allow yourself some free time and do something solo like going for a walk or run.
I know that auctions drain the heck out of me, and so, if I know I’m likely to be attending an auction that weekend, part of my preparation is to ensure I’m not planning any major social interactions or events in the two days prior. I need to reserve my energy for auction day because this is when I’m going to need it the most. This means no Friday night cocktails that spill into the early hours for me, especially if I’m bidding for a client on the Saturday.
Using the auction scenario, I also prep myself for what to do after the auction to regain energy because I know I’m going to be mentally wrecked. This usually involves an early night in with Uber Eats, an epsom salt bath, and definitely no noisy TV or social media reels. I need to let my mind and body come down from the events of the day and the best way for me to do this is to become solitary for the next 24 hours or so.
Managing your energy as an introvert is all about being mindful of the times when you know you’re going to have to draw on your energy sources and then planning ahead.
This way, you don’t end up with a schedule that leaves you with no clear space to do the things that help recharge the batteries.
Below are some of the things I do to fill my cup and re-energise:
Remove all the noise. This means turning off the TV, moving to a place that is quiet, or putting the noise cancelling earpods in.
An hour of exercise.
Deep breathing exercises. I take myself to a quiet place (sometimes it’s either the beach or the park) and sit still for half an hour.
Run an epsom salt bath and listen to calming music.
Get a foot massage whilst listening to a podcast.
Journalling.
Going to bed early. The intention is not to fall asleep, but to spend time reading or in quiet meditation.
Chatting to a close friend on the phone about life.
In my Masterclass for Women in Real Estate, I devote an entire lesson to managing energy as a real estate professional and I know my most recent course participants gained some valuable insights on the subject.
This is the episode where I share my best tips on managing energy as an introvert:
One thing to remember as an introvert - don’t feel you’re disadvantaged when it comes to your career. You just need to learn to adjust in ways that work best for who you are so that you can continue to show up as your best self. And if this means skipping the office social drinks or networking functions every now and then, so be it.
THE POLISHED PROFESSIONAL
or REVIEW THE COURSE OUTLINE here.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Wendy Russell writes about the realities of a career in real estate. She is a self-made woman and Independent Buyer’s Advocate based in Brisbane Australia, representing busy professionals in luxury home purchases.
